Amrit's Blog

Too little butter spread over too much bread.

The mattress I sleep on was procured by a random guy who had a van full of them. Sold it at a very cheap price, and you know what, its great. The best purchases I've ever made have been the bargains. You know, going to a charity shop and picking up a mint collectors edition of Raging Bull for £2.99, absolutely chefs kiss moment.

You ever gone through your old notes and had absolutely no idea about what you were talking about. Like what is this: 1. Base 2. Grass 3. Walls 4. Oval roof 5. Doorway 6. Additional I got no idea

There's just so much content everywhere, and everyone wants your attention, not in your interest, but in theirs. Attention has been monetised. I don't enjoy being a consumer, it's a sham. Also, what's with this revolut pyramid scheme. Why are there kids coming up to me like salesmen trying to make me convert my finance account for a small cash promise. If it's a good bank, I will switch based off their principles, not because of ten pounds. You know, recently, I've been really connecting to the messages of certain songs, shows and films. I feel as if they are talking to me, and it's nice. Also, much love to BoJack Horseman. Aside from certain iffy bits I need to cover my eyes and ears for, it's a brilliant show. My verbal diarrhoea has been pretty bad recently. I have eight hundred and twelve notes on my phone, about three hundred were made in the past three weeks. Dave's new album is really good. I've listened to his music a lot recently. Additi...

Strange time at the moment.

My favourite line of the song "I THINK" by Tyler the Creator is "how can I tell ya?" I don't know.

[REDACTED]

School Gaming There was a time where I experienced probably the most fun inside lessons at school. It was twice a week, I believe it was a collective two hours across Tuesdays and Thursdays where it took place. We would all show up early, eagerly waiting for the teacher to unlock the one thing keeping us from true excitement. Once opened, we would all pile in, bags smashing into each other, unbothered heads colliding, and the teacher stepping pack the instant after turning the key - he knew the best thing to do was to move out the way, there was no stopping us. Anyway, we all sat down. We press the button. The screen blasts through a gradient from black to a blue hue in an instant yet it feels like seeing colour for the first time. We type in our password and username, open up chrome - and that's it, we were in. There’s something beautiful about playing games on the school computers. It had many parts, and was quite complex. The first of which, of course, was finding games to play....

Really confused about what I want to do with my life. I haven't found that thing yet, but I love learning, and that's good enough for now. But I have a feeling I am taking on too much, but I'll see how it goes. As long as I always strive and prosper, it should be fine, but it will be worth it.

I wrote my first proper personal statement today, and it was atrocious (both the process and the outcome), but I'll get better.

It was going to happen eventually; inevitably I would be separated from my friends and teachers. This is the only fact giving me some comfort, but still, I would prefer to delay the inevitable even for just 2 years. It's the classic case of logic versus emotion, and I know what I should do, and the choice is made, but I will still feel pain. I miss everyone so much, they were my family, and there are few I value as much as them. Seeing them all everyday made life bright even when it seemed dim. They helped me whenever I needed it, and supported me throughout my journey. Without them I would not be the man I am today. Thus, I feel guilty for leaving. But I feel like I know I have to. This decision was not made fast, it was the result of evaluating the situation, and there were simply too many unknowns. I am scared, I'll just say that. I will grow away from my closest friends, and that will kill me. I don't see an upside. They were so good to me. I kind of want to weep. The b...

At the crossroads distance is inevitable: a fact of life I really don't want to accept. To think the people I love and care for most will go from daily speakers to occasional catch-ups; I refuse to accept. I'll try my best to keep it the same. They have done so much for me, fundamentally changed me, made me a better person, helped me through the rough times whether they knew it or not. My fondest memories are tied to them. When you're at the crossroads, the only comfort is the fact that wherever you are, if you look back, the memories are still there. This goes out to some special people: - FlameToxin23 - ToxicDart (the OG Ash) - OnePiece_Real - GoatedAbdiS - Music_Connoisseur_21(As in Apollo) - MasterDG8 - WhatTheSigmaSkibidi101_NiceGuy - M.B - MA - MJ - JP - AF - HO - BMW Maestro - O - All those in M - A_Boon - ² - Silent but - S.L.M - GSS - And all the others who know who they are. Wish them all the best in all they do. Always strive and prosper knowing how much you have...

 The difference between OCD and being generally clean, at least for me, is the hypothetical; the subconscious fear of the elusive worst case scenario. I just walked into my house. I will take my shoes off right at the door. Why? I know I did not step on any dog poop. Well, maybe, I stepped on a little bit without knowing. Maybe, I stepped on dry bird poop without knowing and it did not stick to my shoe. Maybe, I stepped where someone else who stepped on dog poop once stepped. Maybe I stepped on dried spit. I know roads are never properly cleaned, so anything can be there. Therefore, just to be safe, I must assume everything is on my shoes. Thoughts like this used to keep me up at night. I would think endlessly, then run downstairs with cleaning products to free my mind. It wasn't fun. It often relapses, but the worst thing is, I have no idea where to draw the line. People don't like touching the handrails on public transport the same way I don't like sitting at home after s...

I've been gone a while, but I am working on something that is both controversial but necessary.

Controversy. The Monolith - New Emplemon video out now.

I've always known about the stages of grief, and I've known that the amount of time people spend in each stage differs drastically based off a variety of aspects; however, upon watching the excellent film "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri", I realised these stages are not set in stone. Mildred Hayes remains in a limbo of all 5 stages, expressing anger, sorrow, and everything in-between during the her screen time. Above all else, this film taught me how grief ceases to be a sequenced and organised system for all. No matter how hard we try, aspects of the human psyche are so complex they cannot be quantified. Long time no speak, sorry about that. Good luck on everything and have a good day.

The Pam-Jim dynamic is so realistic and gut-wrenching in The Office (US). Anyway, have a nice day.

I want to escape, to just get out and get away. I got God of War for £7, twas a bargain, I was playing it today and I killed a dragon. Believe me, the visuals are amazing, and the seamlessness of the transitions between gameplay and cutscenes are great. The game excels regarding combat, visuals, story and even puzzles to an extent. However, there is something wrong with the game I cannot quite put my finger on. Games now serve as my form of escapism. All media for me is escapism.

In the words of Michael Jackson, this is it. Have a great day; and dear Johnny, do it.

 This one goes out to my most frequent reader. I'm looking at you fiery toxic 32. I got an email from Google Adsense asking if I want to monetise; I said no, because that's not the point. I don't want to take money. I want to take people's time [insert evil laugh here]. Not really though, spend your time wisely. Here is a poem I love that is relevant: Gather ye rose-buds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying; And this same flower that smiles today Tomorrow will be dying. The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun, The higher he’s a-getting, The sooner will his race be run, And nearer he’s to setting. That age is best which is the first, When youth and blood are warmer; But being spent, the worse, and worst Times still succeed the former. Then be not coy, but use your time, And while ye may, go marry; For having lost but once your prime, You may forever tarry. To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time By  Robert Herrick