Thoughts 27

It was going to happen eventually; inevitably I would be separated from my friends and teachers. This is the only fact giving me some comfort, but still, I would prefer to delay the inevitable even for just 2 years. It's the classic case of logic versus emotion, and I know what I should do, and the choice is made, but I will still feel pain. I miss everyone so much, they were my family, and there are few I value as much as them. Seeing them all everyday made life bright even when it seemed dim. They helped me whenever I needed it, and supported me throughout my journey. Without them I would not be the man I am today. Thus, I feel guilty for leaving. But I feel like I know I have to. This decision was not made fast, it was the result of evaluating the situation, and there were simply too many unknowns. I am scared, I'll just say that. I will grow away from my closest friends, and that will kill me. I don't see an upside.

They were so good to me. I kind of want to weep. The best days of my life were there.

Life moves on, pain does not disappear, only gets subdued over time, but this decision will haunt me for a long time.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thoughts 1

My favourite aspect of any piece of media, whether it be stories, film, music or art, is character development. If there ceases to be any character development, if there are no consequences or changes in a character proceeding their past actions, I don't want to experience it. For example, I enjoy television shows like Amphibia, Gravity Falls, Home Movies and the Regular Show because I am not only entertained by the storytelling and dialogue, but also because I care about the characters and what will happen to them next. If a character is the same in every instance, why should I care, I know what will happen to them next; these characters are simply unnatural, and although realism is not at all a core aspect of media, consequences and change are fundamental aspects of storytelling. Even sitcoms such as the Simpsons have loose character development which can suffice. When I was a baby, I watched shows because of cool colours and pictures (like Pocoyo), but as I grew, I was introduce...
Read more

Thoughts 4

There is one sole person in this world who I despise. I won't name them of course, but I truly do regard them with abject pity. I have no respect for this person at all, they simply do not deserve it. I will be happy when I am away from them permanently; till then, I will try to avoid them as much as possible. I would speak with them, but there are some people in this world you simply cannot win an argument with. Writing with anger in my veins for the hours this person has taken from me; but it's almost over. 
Read more

Thoughts 15

There is something so fatalistic about GCSEs. The exam is over now, and there is nothing I can do about it, and you don't care, but I'm going to tell you what I wrote so you can give a forced "ok" or "that's good" so I can feel slightly better while showing off to others to validate my position in this world - I just don't understand why people do this. Don't try to estimate my age, I'm a 40 year old living in a small bungalow off the coast of West Africa.
Read more